The Un-Planned Parenthood

Tonight, we feel deeply conflicted and burdened.  As we are excitingly longing for the time when we will get the call about our 4th son to enter our family from Ethiopia, we are thrown off as we receive a call from an agency we spoke with over 2 years ago.  They asked if we were still pursuing adoption.  They innocently stated they are looking for families who will be non partial to race.

The past few weeks, the news feeds of our Christian Facebook pages are enraged over what Planned Parenthood is doing, to predominantly African American babies (yes, they are babies!).  And for good reason we should be enraged.  

But here we are...confused.  We see those who are or seem enraged, yet, is there action? Oh, may the Lord stir in our hearts and ignite the fire.  May we open our ears and hear his calling.

In this time, we do not even know what to ask you to pray for.  We are simply astonished by the need.  We also recognize the challenges of multi-racial families and the racial struggle our country continues to have.  We are unsure of what the future may bring for our family, but we are open to where ever God might direct us.  We pray that abortions stop. We pray for the moms and babies who need love, support, and Christ.  We pray that the church will be willing to link arms and earnestly seek God and His glory.

  Seriously.  Look at this guy.  

Through tears we want to beg people please, please choose life.

It's Official

This guy legally became a Wolfe today!  The court proceedings obviously wore him out.

We enjoyed time together with family, as a family, out for a fancy meal.

The first 6 weeks and our NEW OLD news

Time is flying by as tomorrow Littlest B will be 3 months old!  Our family is still transitioning (or maybe just mommy) with growing accustomed to more responsibilities and things to accomplish each day – which is my excuse for such slow updates here :) .

We had hoped to explain a little of how the first 6 weeks unfolded after arriving home. We cocooned Littlest B to introduce him to our family and to strengthen the parent-child bond.  Littlest B was removed from everything he knew to be familiar.  Some may argue that birth is a transition to everything unknown but research has shown that newborns and infants in utero have developed many things familiar to their mother (smell, taste, and sound).   Cocooning is supposed to be a protective environment where the child is introduced to new things and a nurturing environment to grieve the things lost.  After we left the hospital with B, we based our cocooning on recommendations from “Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Family” by David and Renee Sanford, published by Tyndale and Focus on the Family.  Little B spent almost all of his waking hours in our arms. We completed everyday tasks with him in a carrier.  

We attempted to limit others holding him to less than 5 min. a day.  I (J) was the only one who fed him.  He had daddy skin to skin time.  We tried our best to form a daily routine.  Having other children at home and moving from State to State, we found the first 6 weeks more challenging than we had anticipated.  We already have determined new ideas and ways for how we will navigate cocooning of future adopted children.

Our new old news:  We received another adoption grant!!!!  WOOHOO!!! 

Prior to placement in June, we filled out another Show Hope grant specific to this adoption (our other Show Hope grant award can be found here).  Last week we had received award notification for $3,000!  I(J) will be completely honest by saying  I was not anticipating this at all.  I had assumed that considering they had already awarded us one for Boaz’s adoption we would not make the cut.  I was amazed and continue to revel in details of how the Lord is using his church to provide for us.  We have both award notification letters taped to our fridge to be a constant reminder of His provisions.

An Overdue Thank You

We were floored a couple of weeks ago when we received a large adoption grant from our local church, HSC.  The grant covered all of our remain bill at our Illinois agency and a large portion of our lawyer fees.  Wow. Wow. Wow. Thank you for blessing our family!

Homecoming

Over the last month, I have desired to type a full update but my eyes have been tired and my arms full!  (Tonight I am attempting to write balancing our littlest man on my chest.) 

Gratitude, heaviness of heart, joy, excitement, and extreme exhaustion hardly encompasses the array of emotion we have felt over the last couple of weeks.  Much has transpired since our last update.  As many of you know we spent the first 2 weeks of Little B’s life in Illinois.  Due to Interstate laws and restrictions, our paperwork had to be submitted and reviewed before we could come home.  The time spent away was divided between the hospital and hotels.  The isolation in another state provided two-on-one time to facilitate bonding but it also came with challenges of balancing work and the older brothers.  We have offered much thanks to our parents for caring for the older boys in our absence. 

There are obviously questions many have had surrounding the details of our adoption of Little B.  Our adoption is an open adoption.  We know his birth mother and she knows us.  Our adoption was facilitated by our agency but has mainly been left between us to sort out the personal details.  We spent a lot of time together with Little B’s birth mother (or Tummy Mommy) during the hospital stay.  We celebrated together and cried together.  As the future of our relationship is yet to be told, we pray that he will know her.  But we can ensure he will always know his story.  The details will always be celebrated, shared and conversations about it readily available.  Right now, we currently struggle on how much information to share with others.  It is not that we don’t want to tell the details, we just feel the story is his to share as he chooses.  Sometime in the future (once I have sorted it out in my head) I do desire to share my struggles and triumphs the journey and The Lord have accomplished in my heart.  He has worked mightily and it is our desire for that to be known!!!

Since we have been home we have been overwhelmed with support.  We cannot thank everyone enough for the food, gifts, borrowed items, prayers, kind words and visits.  Our short term physical and financial needs related to the transition have been provided for but the sincere offers of people giving of themselves have greatly impacted and encouraged our hearts. 

The older brothers love having Little B around.  Their excitement, tenderness and love ooze as they sing “this little piggy” or talk about everything they will teach him.  They have accepted him with open arms and the transition has truly warmed our hearts and even now brings tears to my eyes. We are slowly settling into the life as a multi racial family of 5.  I am positive there will be much excitement to share about crazy experiences to come.

He is here!

Pending arrival of a...

It's a....

Girl? Boy? We don't know, but we are ecstatic to announce the potential for a new addition in our family.

The past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind.  From the phone call from our social worker that our family has been chosen by a birth mother, to meeting her, to leaving for a family vacation to Florida, and now getting home to prepare.  Due to the sensitive nature of the circumstances- we aren't giving you any details - except that the new baby may show up anytime in approximately the next 4 weeks!

It is amazing to see how the Lord has gone before us to this point.  He has worked out so many of the little details of timing and we have felt an incredible amount of peace.  But there is still a lot more to go!  Please pray.  Pray that we will reflect Him no matter the circumstances and that we will be flexible.  Please pray for health for mom and baby.  Please pray for us as new demands emotionally, spiritually and physically are put upon us.  

Yeah for crazy and exciting times!  We aren't sure who is more excited. Dad and mom, or the big brothers. 

Good News Out of Ethiopia Today!

In response to the last couple of weeks, today the Minister in charge of MOWCYA stated that neither they or the Ethiopian Government plan to shut down adoptions within Ethiopia. She encouraged our agency and others alike to continue their work as normal.


Here is actual release sent by our agency:
http://adoptedbydesign.typepad.com/blog/2014/01/positive-news-from-ethiopia.html


Change and reform is still needed and will continue to be. For we know that whenever there is opportunity to do good there is also opportunity to abuse or corrupt.  Please be in continued prayer for Ethiopia's leadership and wisdom as adoptions continue.

Urgent Ethiopian News

*Update: Due to Ethiopian Christmas(Celebrated January 7th) and a Muslim holiday, official news will most likely not be released until Thursday January 16th or later.* 


We have been here before.  Waiting.  Hoping. Unsure of the future.  Overcome with raw emotion.  The recognition that so little, truly, is in our control.  The genuine recognition we need to trust Him. 

Here is a little background:  Over the weekend of Dec. 27-29^th a multi day meeting was held by the Ethiopian House of Representatives along with MOWCYA (Ministry of Women, Children, and Youth Affairs) officials.  In the meeting, a 36+ page research paper was presented.  Amongst many issues presented, over half of the content of the paper related directly to adoption in Ethiopia.  Breakout groups made up of parliament officials, NGOs, adoption agency representatives, teachers, court officials and public attendees gathered to discuss the paper and to discuss change.   In closing, the speaker of the House stated that there are conflicts of interest leading to corruption.  It was noted the many Parliament officials strongly lobbied for the closure of international adoption.  At the end of the meeting, they determined that a strategic plan would be provided after 10 business days.

What brought this about?  There is and has been a lot of change in Ethiopia related to adoption over the last couple of years.  Some of this most recent call to action may be politically driven; re-elections are coming up later this year.  There also have been many negative articles written in main stream media related to adoption.

What does our agency say? At this time our agency, AWAA, does not anticipate complete closure of the entire country to international adoption although they recognize that it may be a reality.  They do believe that this will lead to continue adoption reform.  We are so thankful they have been open, and honest.  They are currently in the process of translating the research paper and plan to email it to all families when it is complete.  They have also held a conference call to keep us informed.  Our in country director was actually present in the meetings listed above.

What do we think?  We desire for orphan justice.  We desire a system that puts the child at priority, not money in the pockets of stakeholders or orphanage authorities.  We want a system that provides permanency for a child, in the home of a family, whether domestic or international. 

How are we handling this news?  Like the introduction mentioned we have felt like we have been in this situation before.  In a pregnancy, “spotting” brings you to this place.  Spotting many times causes a pregnant women to question – is there a problem?  Emotions can run high.  You have hopes and dreams for the child you carry but you have no control of the outcome.  Like many of you know, we lost and delivered our second son Bode during the 16^th week of our pregnancy.   During the pregnancy we had two separate times, in our hearts, we had these emotional moments that brought us to question.  The first time our fears were calmed and we were told by a doctor- "Everything looks ok!"  but the second time she silently shook her head.  That is the only thing we feel like we can compare this to.  Right now we are waiting.  We don’t know what the future holds for our “Boaz”.  If we will be told, "don't worry, everything seems to be on track" or if we will be told, "I'm sorry."  We only know that the Lord has brought us here and we are to wait.

What can you do?  Pray!

• Pray for Ethiopian government officials to be convicted of the need for children to grow up in a family.
• Pray for advocates to speak up on behalf of orphans and vulnerable children.
• Pray to end corruption, deceit, and inappropriate work in adoption.
• Pray for all the waiting families as we anxiously await the news.
• Pray for wisdom and guidance of our agency to respond wisely whatever the outcome.

 

All of this news came to us while we were enjoying our family vacation in Florida.  We struggled to keep composure and enjoy the moment where the Lord had brought us.  We desire to be used by the Lord and be flexible to his calling.  He has prepared us.  We are thankful that the Lord is also showing us the bigger picture of his love for the vulnerable and orphan children of the world.  I (J) was actually reading the book Orphan Justice by Johnny Carr when we received the news.  May we “act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with our God.” (Micah 6:8b)  We now wait until January 13th, the anticipated date for the release of more information.

 

The little things...

 

HHmm!  The smell and taste of coffee calms my heart.  I am so thankful to the Lord for the little things sometimes.  What is not so little…The $500 we were able to raise so far this holiday season through Just Love Coffee!  We are grateful for our good friends who organized an order at church and the many more who have placed online orders too.  Thank you so much.  Merry Christmas!

 

What are we waiting for?! (An updated on our Ethiopia adoption)

It has always been our desire to explain the inner workings of our adoption process.  Today I realized that the first draft of this post was started 11/28/2012!  It is amazing that almost an entire year has passed and it wasn't until today that I felt I could properly communicate some of the processes details related to what is happening on the Ethiopian side of our adoption. 

My new found confidence was inspired from our monthly conference call.  Every month our agency holds conference calls with families within the Ethiopia program.  These calls help answer questions, inform us of changes and celebrate with the families who have received referrals (my definition – referral – being introduced and presented to (a) your child).   This month, due to many concerns regarding the lack of referrals and the increase of rumors surrounding Ethiopian adoption, the AWAA Ethiopia program director spoke directly with us. 

So why is it taking so long?

Just like we had to complete paperwork on state and federal levels to prove we can adopt, a child in Ethiopia must also have paperwork completed on multiple, multiple levels (in general terms as example– county, region, state, country etc) to prove that they are eligible for adoption.  The paperwork can also be more or less complex related to specifics in their case (like if they were given up by birth parents or whether they were abandoned).

Adoption laws are also always changing.  Both the U.S. and Ethiopian governments desire for adoption to be ethical.  We admire that goal and wouldn't want it any other way!  The down side is that as the laws change it takes time to put them into practice in a time efficient manner. Adoption in Ethiopia looks very different then it did even just a couple of years ago.  More recently, over the past year, the Ethiopian government has deliberately increased their research of interviews with police officers and child relatives to make sure children are not being trafficked or adopted for ulterior motives.  This past spring, they also went into the lengthy and detailed process of renewing agency licences and as a result did not renew some agencies due to the inability of the agency to meet their standards.

The most recent change is a new process called PAIR (Pre-Adoption Immigration Review) that has been put into place between our governments this past summer, and officially started September 1^st, 2013.  Our agency's procedure is to have most, if not all, of the child information ready and accurate prior to referral.   The new law now requires that paperwork must be submitted to our embassy (U.S.) so they can write a letter to Ethiopia’s Ministry of Women, Children and Youth Affairs (MOWCYA) with a preliminary finding on whether or not the child is eligible to immigrate to the U.S.  In the past, a child's paperwork was prepared for the Ethiopian government first then presented to the U.S. Embassy after all Ethiopian proceedings were completed.  Our agency used to be able to work on the translation and error correction while they were in process instead of at the outset.  Due to language barriers, inter-country relations etc., this process has started to drastically slow down when children are eligible to be referred.  This has been reflected in the fact that there has not been an infant (under 18 months of age) referred from our agency since July. (If you want more info on PAIR click here.)

Although new laws and changes can be depressing, our program director was very upbeat.  She assured us that both governments are committed to finding forever families for these orphaned children.  She pleaded with us to pray for the government officials who are getting used to this new system.  She also assured us that there is not a lack of children to be adopted, only the lack of completed paperwork.  She empathized with us on how difficult it is to wait but encouraged us to trust the Lord’s timing and to be patient.

So, the time frame before Boaz is home most likely will continue to grow.  It is officially still at 36 months from DTE (which is still 18 months from now) but is almost assured to exceed that.  With all of this being said, we are so thankful we have an upstanding agency who desires to work and cooperate with government officials in a just and worthy manner.  We believe they are doing the absolute best to collect and sort through each child’s information and earnestly communicate with us in the process. 

In the mean time, we have much more to update on our domestic adoption.  More information to coming soon.  Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

When we started our Just Love coffee fundraiser we had a lofty goal of raising $1,000.  The number was somewhat arbitrary due to the fact we had no idea how much coffee we could actually sell.  I checked today and realized that in the last 20 months, we have made $905.00 in total proceeds towards our adoption! 

Now that we are attempting to fund two adoptions, we would love to greatly surpass our original goal this holiday season.  Coffee is a great gift or stocking stuffer.  Fill them up with Love!

 

All the usual Just Love favorites are available, as well as their seasonal Christmas blends.  Sampler packs are also a great bargain for multiple gifts.

Please click the link below then on the shop and support button.  You can select the coffee types, countries and blends in the left task bar.
https://justlovecoffee.com/about/beneficiary/thewolfefamily/

TWO

This summer flew by!  After 8 weeks of living with Grandma and Grandpa K we were blessed with the opportunity to move our little own 3 acres of country.  The boys absolutely love the outdoor freedom and we are slowly settling in to calling it home.

As time continues to pass in the Ethiopia program, the wait continues to grow longer.  We have been waiting for Boaz for 18 months and the current average now is 36 months but is expected to grow longer.  We are still fully committed to our adoption in Ethiopia and bringing Boaz home no matter how long it takes.  But the reality is it will take much longer than we originally expected.  We are thankful that God is completely sovereign and we know we are exactly where He has called us to be.  He called us here even though we probably wouldn’t have chosen it in the beginning.

We have assumed from the very beginning we were going to adopt more than once.  We just didn’t know we would be pursuing two at the same time!  We are excited to announce that on Friday we met with our social worker and are starting the process of a concurrent adoption. 

What does that mean?  From now until Boaz comes home, we are compiling paperwork, to be home study ready, to pursue our second adoption.  We are seeking approval by AWAA to complete both adoptions, as well as compiling information for our family profile.  We are trying to steward the time that we have been given and at this time we feel confident that there is enough time for both to happen.  The paperwork for the second adoption is different since it is for domestic adoption within the US.  We are hoping to submit our home study information to a few different agencies within the Midwest. 

We have always said we would love to welcome a child into our home no matter how the Lord brings them to us.  We are currently taking steps to be more available for Him to work.

Please pray for us!

Please pray for wisdom in discernment about the process.  We are excited to open our home to more children, but we do not want to run ahead of God.  Has he called us to just wait? Or is this prime opportunity?  Please pray for God’s continued financial provision as we apply for grants and continue with our own savings.  Please pray that even in the midst of changes in our expectations that we would rest confident in the numerous blessings before us.

M & J

P.S. Keep following us! I hope to post soon explaining more about why it is taking so long in Ethiopia.

Time Management

Phew - it has been a while since we have updated hasn't it?!  We have had all these wonderful plans to blog weekly (or even monthly) about the specifics of adoption process but this spring has been very busy for our family at church, with friends etc. The biggest news to share is related to our living situation!   We have sold our current house and are searching for property and a home that will meet specific needs and potential desires for our growing family.

How does selling our home now specifically relate to our adoption?  We want to provide stewardship (stewardship n. - the conducting, supervising, or managing of something; especially: the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care) over the waiting time before Boaz comes home.  Once Boaz gets home we want many things in our life to be as stable as we can prepare them to be.  His life up to that point will have been full of change and potentially turmoil.  It seems ideal to move before his arrival.  We also need to complete an 18-month home study update due in August.  When you move you also have to complete an update so this way we are attempting to knock them out at the same time. 

We proceeded cautiously with the idea to sell our home. We have been very blessed to have our current home. It was our first home and has welcomed two children! But with a growing brood of boys, we decided it would be very important to have an outdoor space for them to explore, learn about chores/responsibility and to just plain burn energy. We have no idea of exactly what the house or property will look like. The real estate market in our area is moving really fast. We are praying that we will have wisdom on the right house to choose and that we will be financially responsible. 

What are we doing in the meantime?  Moving in with Grandma and Grandpa K.!  Please pray for smooth transitions with our family and that we will be patient to wait on the timing of the Lord's provision for our next home.

This next year will definitely be a time of change but we look forward to the adventure!  Stay tuned.

A Kick Start for the New Year!

Here is our last family picture taken in 2012!

2013 started off a little more unusual than originally expected.  Grandma Wolfe fractured her hip while at our house and they ended up staying almost the entire month.  It was very precious to watch the concern the boys had for Grandma and to listen to the sweet prayers they lifted to their Heavenly Father.  The boys also loved having Grandpa around to play and read with.  We are thankful that Grandma is on the road to healing and now in a facility back in Michigan where she is only 2 blocks away from their home!

We also wrapped up our Hand in Hand matching grant.  To our surprise, there was a last minute anonymous donor.  By using friends, family, and Hand-in-Hand, God has amazingly provided the grand total to be $10,365!  Thank you so much to everyone who has partnered with us. 

Listed below is the total the amount we have fundraised for Boaz so far.  We are swept away by God’s provision (and I get goose bumps every time I look at it!).  We pray that you will also be blessed by these numbers.

Personal Donations                                         $2,150

Just Love Coffee                                               $713

Show Hope                                                        $4,500

WeCareforOrphans/Lifesong                        $6,900
Matching Grant

Hand-in-Hand Matching Grant                     $10,356

Total:                                                                  $24,619

Last week on Jan. 20th we also celebrated the 1^st anniversary of being accepted into AWAA’s Ethiopia program.  We are excited to share with you the journey as the next year unfolds.

$3,000 Grant Matched!

Our Hand in Hand matching grant officially closed on Friday.  Thank you all very much who supported us through this matching grant.  Although the numbers aren't finalized yet - we did indeed surpass the $3,000 needed from family and friends to received the matching $3,000!  Amazing!  We can't say it enough - we are so humbled that the Lord started us on this journey and he has been providing for us along the way!

Hand in Hand Matching Grant

***UPDATE:  Praise God!  As of today, Friday January 4th, we were notified we have $1,415 in our Hand in Hand account.  Remember all donations must be postmarked by Friday January 11th.  There is one only more week left to complete the matching grant!***

As promised here is our Hand in Hand fundraising letter that includes details on how to give towards our matching grant.

Dear Family and Friends,

As many of you may have already heard, we are excited that God has called us on a new journey to provide a “forever” family to a child through the process of adoption.  At the beginning of this year, we started down this path and God directed us to the country of Ethiopia.   Although the time frame may be variable, between 12-24 more months from now, before we bring our son home, we have already chosen to name him Boaz. 

We know this road will be full of great joys and great challenges. We look forward to the joy and blessing of opening our hearts and home to another son but at this time one of the greatest challenges is the financial responsibility.  The costs of adoption include the expense of a home study, adoption agency fees, appropriate government paperwork, travel expenses, etc., with the total cost ending up somewhere around $35,000.  We know that God is faithful and He is asking us to trust him.

Through His’ provision, we were recently awarded a matching funds grant to help with the expenses of our adoption from Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc. a non-profit private operating foundation.  Hand in Hand will match any funds that are donated through our friends and family for the expenses of our adoption.  All funds received through our friends and family will be matched dollar for dollar by Hand in Hand up to $3,000, once matched totaling $6,000.   All donations are tax-deductible.

Please find enclosed a grant award letter that will explain more about the matching grant program from Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc. You can find out more about Hand in Hand through their website at www.handinhandadopt.org. If you have further questions about the Hand in Hand matching grant program please feel free to give us a call or email us.*(for the purposes of the blog you can ask questions by leaving a comment below and we will contact you directly)* You may also contact Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc. with any questions you may have.  They can be reached at 913-248-5015 or by e-mail at handinhandadopt@gmail.com.

If you would like to be an integral part of bringing Boaz home, please send all donations made payable to “Hand in Hand Christian Adoption” postmarked by January 11^th, 2013 to: (For tax purposes please include our name on the outside of the envelope only.  Please do not put our name on the check itself).

 

Thank you for your prayerful consideration of investing in our family.  It is our hope to continue to keep you updated as our adoption proceeds with details as we receive them. Please pray this entire process will glorify God and fulfill His purposes!

Walking Hand in Hand,

         The Wolfe Family

Hand in Hand has also recommended we post our grant award letter.  The link for the letter is here.  Thank you so much to all who have donated and prayed up to this point!  We are blessed. (We know we say that a lot - but we truly are!)

Woohoo for adoption grants!

 

Tonight we received news that we have been awarded a matching grant from Hand in Hand that could total up to $6,000.  We are so thankful that again the Lord is providing.  Now to fundraising the $3,000 to get matched before the end of the year!  What a great way to kick start our Christmas season!   *all grant related details to follow, soon.

Today: Orphan Sunday