Emotional Ups and Downs - Focusing on God's Promises

This past week has been filled with both emotional highs and lows *and I chuckle to myself because I know this is only the beginning of the crazy ride.

Last week I started off being encouraged in the little things – The boys and I went to pick up a recent copy of our marriage certificate.  Whether it was a mix of the boys being really well behaved and/or the ladies behind the desk being a little bored, and/or the office having printer problems… a great interaction conspired.  Some ladies were teaching Big B about the State and while others were cooing at Little B…  it all resulted in free copies that would normally cost $40!

Then by the weekend, we were greatly encouraged by close friends who decided to donate half of their tax return to our adoption.  They did it to follow in obedience to care for the orphan and to encourage us and support our decision at the same time.  We were/are blown away by their generosity and thankful for their friendship.  Today we also received our first check from our support raised through our fundraiser with Just Love Coffee. 

And then the downer…

Our agency has monthly conference calls to answer questions related to the Ethiopian adoption process.  Today after the conference call an email was sent out stating this:

As the wait time trend has continued to increase, we see the need to amend the time frame in order to better represent expectations for families receiving referrals. The wait times are increasing (from December 2011 it was 10-14 months then February 2012 to 14-18 months) now to 18-24 months for a male or female infant or toddler.

From other chatter on the AWAA support groups, it appears the wait will actually continue to grow longer before we receive a referral for the next little Wolfe. 

                {related to the timeline – we can’t receive a referral until our Dossier (pile of paperwork) is in Ethiopia which will be approx. 2 more months, and then after the referral there are court dates and embassy meetings which can take up to another 4-6 months} = up to 32 months = seems like a long of time.

My first instinct is to become extremely overwhelmed… Wait more than 3 years! … We want a large family but we can’t keep waiting 3 years in between… Does this mean we made the wrong decision?… Does this mean we are suppose to do something different?

If I am not careful serious doubt would creep in.  I can allow these assumptions and inferences of what could or will happen in the future control and fill my time but instead I calm my heart and reflect on the things I know, the promises of God. 

I John 5:14-15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us, - whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him. (NIV)

Isaiah 64:4 Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. (NIV, emphasis mine.) 

And I like what Job says back to God in Job 42:2-3

I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.  You asked, “Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?”  Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.

I love the verse AWAA posted on facebook regarding the situation.

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Ephesians 3:14-19 (NLT)

I am glad God is in ultimate control.  He knows how He will be best glorified by our family whether it is waiting patiently on him for more than 3 years, spending more quality time as a family of 4, having more time to financially fund this adoption or just encourage and support others while we wait.  Both of us strongly still believe God is directing us to Ethiopia.  We will finish up the paperwork and then study, prepare, and love our family while we wait.  A little boy will be waiting for us, so we will wait for him.


P.S. This new information doesn't change anything we are currently doing.  We are still waiting for our home study to be completed, onto Immigration approval and the next Dossier $7,700 installment fee. All in all it just increases the time waiting time in between now and when we meet our new son.

Depraved Indifference

This message portrays the desire of our hearts - to overcome our own indifference and to reflect the love of Jesus Christ to the world around us.

Home Study Home Visit Completed!

We are so thankful to have yet another part of our adoption journey under our belt!  Today we completed our last of four visits with our social workers at Gateway Woods. For those new to adoption, you can find a good explanation of why we needed to complete a home study here but the gist of the home study report gives its readers information about who we are, how we live and if we are fit to be parents.  This home study will be read by the U.S. Citizen and Immigration Service (USCIS) and Ethiopia’s Ministry of Women, Children and Youth Affairs (MOWCYA). 

Since AWAA does not have an Indiana office we were required to find a local, agency approved, home study provider.  After a referral from friends we decided upon Gateway Woods.  They are a Christian agency and absolutely have a passion to see children placed into loving homes. We have been very happy with how quickly the process has unfolded. The Gateway Woods social workers have also had reassuring, confident, calming demeanors in what is sometimes looked upon as a negative or stressful interaction. 

With the home visit completed, our social worker will begin to draft our official Home Study document.   Once this is completed, we will send it to the USCIS to get approval to adopt a child born overseas.

Yeah for progress!

Our first shipment came today.  It tastes delicious.  We are excited to partner with such a great company and product.

Money, Money, Money, Must be Funny, in a Rich Man's World

Every time I look at our adoption fee outline, this ABBA song pops into my head.   I have my parents and their first CD, ABBA GOLD, to thank for it!  

In all seriousness, Mike and I have always known that adoption was going to be expensive.  We knew that we would have to be frugal, save and eventually pay out.  I didn’t realize however, how hard it was going to be to write those big checks!  America World estimates up to $35,734 for an Ethiopian adoption –YIKES!

In my world the amount listed above seems like a lot, but in God’s, it is mere pennies.  Psalm 24:1 The Earth is the Lord’s and everything in it.

To help me keep perspective, I really like the comparison a speaker made in this audio conference.   Many of us do not pray or even second guess buying a car like this onethough, somehow we say we can’t afford adoption… it is too expensive.  The car will inevitably rust, break down and although it can be used, in and of itself, has no worth in eternity.  On the other hand, a life is “priceless” and eternal.

Please pray for us as we look for ways to fundraise, save and come up with the money to finance our adoption.  We have already connected with Just Love Coffee – (We especially love that their story starts with an Ethiopian adoption too!)  As soon as we complete our home study, we also hope to apply for grants.  We are attempting to be good stewards of what God has financially entrusted to us, knowing He will provide us with the amount needed in the end.   

Blogging, Really?

To be honest I never thought that I would write a blog.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love blogs.   I have spent countless hours reading other people’s blogs.  I just don’t write.  I have never felt like I could articulate my feelings or thoughts very well in writing and honestly wasn’t really sure I had time.  I also am very aware my spelling and grammar are horrendous!  But with that said M and I feel a blog is a simple way to quickly keep those we love, our friends and family, informed.  This way has been paved by so many who have gone before us, too many to count or name, especially related to adoption. 

Through this blog we want you to celebrate with us.  We want to share how God is working in our lives.  We want you to support us and learn through our struggles.  We want to be real.  So over the next couple of months, I am going to put my perfectionist tendencies behind me and just write (and hopefully post lots of pictures!).  Here we are…

Yesterday we completed our first meeting with the social worker who will complete our home study.  We felt it went really well.  Now we have to dive into all the probing and personal questions to prepare for the home visit!  We are currently in the “paper chase” stage of adoption that can last up to 6 months.  We are hoping with a little diligence, and babysitting help from Grandma Kelton, to try and finish most of it up by the end of April.

M & J thoroughly blessed, though exhausted, daily due to our little BMWs who keep us on our toes (and knees!).  We are honored the Lord has blessed us with children and overwhelmed by the responsibility.  We thank God for grace and pray for patience.  We are moving forward in paperwork while earnestly awaiting the time until we can welcome with love new little ones the Lord is preparing for our family.

Welcome to the Ethiopia Program!

Six years ago J and I began to slowly seek the Lord’s guidance by asking one small question – Should we grow our family through adoption?  After much reading, prayer and research the actualization of this question is now before us and it is exciting (and slightly scary) to see God’s hand in this very personal and practical area of life.  He has opened our hearts and his Truth, contained in the Bible, has illuminated the way.  We feel humbled and blessed that He has chosen to entrust us with His work and that he would use us to bring glory to Himself. 

Prior to having any children I (M) was quite confident that we should have all girls. Thinking of my boyhood and the awkwardness that accompanied it, I thought it would be best not to put anyone else through that experience.  I saw myself fitting in well with a bunch of little girls who liked to bake cookies and shop for me.  J on the other hand thought it would be best to have a family of boys who are able to kill spiders and take out the trash. 

As many of you know, we have had all boys.

 I gladly and humbly embrace it.  While reading a book on raising boys, I came across a sentence that has stayed in the forefront of my mind and I keep going back to the thought.  “Every father wants a boy, but every boy needs a father.”   For six years J and I have been planning to adopt.  We thought God was going to bless us with little girl from China or India but in the last six months, God has laid it on our heart to follow suite, at least for now, in what he has already blessed us with - bouncing, busy, little boys.   It is my prayer that I can model Biblical manhood, as my father did, to disciple our boys and that by the grace of God they will come to know and love Him.

We pray, through our family’s story of adoption, there will be a slight resemblance of God’s redemptive work that he does in the life of every believer.  We all were orphans without an inheritance.  Once we believed and trusted in God’s gracious gift through his Son Christ Jesus, He has adopted us through and has given us hope and an inheritance of eternal life.  Through adoption, we in no way are doing anything worthy of praise.  We love only because He first loved us (I John 4:19).  It is our prayer that you have considered your poverty and have trusted in the only one who can truly save a life. 

Today, we were accepted into the American World Ethiopian Program and our practical family adoption journey has begun!  We covet your prayers for strength and wisdom in this process, and that through it all, God would be praised.